Thursday, April 23, 2009

Pioneering motherhood for Torontonian twenty-somethings

2 days past due date.

I have my midwife appointment today around three. I'm going to get my 'membranes stripped' also known as a 'stretch and sweep'. Basically what happens is the midwife puts her fingers up my hoo-ha, and if I'm dialated sufficiently (I think it only has to be 1cm or so) she will seperate the bag of waters from the uterine lining. This trauma, which can have side effects of light bleeding, releases the hormones that spur on labour. Studies that I've been reading say it increases the chance of spontaneous labour by 20% in the 48 hours following the procedure. It sounds terrible, doesn't it? But at this point, I'm just happy for that 20%!! Also, I'm going to clean in preparation for the homebirth, before my appointment, just in case I get hit with really hard labour right after. My plan was to clean in early labour as something to do and get things moving along, but I'm afraid it'll hit me like a ton of bricks and I'll look at my hubbie's undies on the floor and be like, screw it! It doesn't matter! I hurt! Which to the pain-free me seems like a horribly embarassing, but very likely, thing to have happen. I like to maintain the illusion of cleanliness, even though we are slovenly pigs.

In other things on my mind -- a ton of people I know are getting married this summer. When Mike and I got married last year, every last one of our friends were taken off guard. Firstly, because it was us and we were the last people that were expected to buy into such an institution (but isn't part and parcel of being nonconformist, doing exactly the opposite of what people expect?) and secondly, because we were all so young (or so they kept on saying). Now I know a bunch of people who have announced plans this month to get married in the summer. Some I'm happy for, some I'm not. I feel guilty that I feel that I, in some way, have a right to feel one way or the other about it. If they want to do it, great! We had such a supportive wedding, and I wonder now how many people were secretly shaking their heads and thinking it was a terrible idea. But then again, we had no history of infidelities, and were always happy with one another, etc. Ugh. I think this may be part of being a grown up; learning to keep your mouth shut. So, the question is, after this crop of weddings, how long after the crop of babies!? I probably shouldn't get my hopes Toronto friends are yuppies at best (or perpetual students, artists and various misfits), and most of them won't have kids until they are in their forties. By then, oh how they shall grovel on their feet for my maternal knowledge!

I don't mind. I'm glad I'm taking the road less travelled. It makes me feel like a pioneer.

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